Most computer errors can be attributed to a similar problem - a screw loose behind the keyboard.
Whenever you need a crucial file from the server, the network will be down.
Whenever you need a crucial file from your hard drive, your computer will crash.
E-mailed tasking will always come just before you log off.
A quarantined virus - will be opened.
A chain letter - will be sent. To global. A dozen times.
The chance of a virus infecting your network is directly proportional to the amount of damage it does.
The chances of getting off work on time is inversely proportional to how much e-mail the boss leaves for until end of the day.
The faster you need a hardcopy, the more people will be using the only office printer.
General Fault Errors are the "Check Engine" light of computers. If it can be fixed, chances are it's not by you.
A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
The chances of a program doing what it's supposed to do is inversely proportional to the number of lines of code used to write it.
by Ryan Sylvester