Des blagues 100% Mauricienne

[[From Forwarded Mails...]]


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Ti ena 2 papa dans ene resturant. Saken ti p raconter ki kalité zot garson couyon. En meme temps ki zot p raconté zot truv de loin, zot 2 garsons la p vini.

1 papa ladan dir "Atan to mem to pu trouver ki kaliter imbecil mo garson été!"
Lotla si repond, li dir "Allé tosi to pu trouver pou mw la pli bourik enkor!"

Zot criyer ban garson la. Ene ladan done so garson Rs. 10 ek li dir "Mo garson alle pren ene loto Mercedes pou mwa to vini!".. Garson la pren Rs 10 sorti.

Lotla dir so garson “Mo garcon alle guet ene cout si papa lakaz to vini!”...Sanla si sorti.

Aster tou le 2 garson in zouenn dehors.Ene ladan dir lot la: “Ey morpa la mari kuyon sa ta! Li dir mwa pren Ene mercedes et li pa mem dir mwa ki kouler.

Lot sa dir: "Sa tigit sa. mo papa la pli kouyon li. Li dir mwa al lakaz al guet ene cout si papa la. Bé li ena portab r li... li pa kav telephoner li mem pu li demander???"  

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Abandonné sur une ile... 

Voici l'histoire de 3 meilleurs copains..

Laval, Kevin et Dominique.. Ils partirent tous à bord d’une superbe cruise à destination inconnue..

Malheureusement le navire fit naufrage et s’ecrasa sur une ile perdue.. Les 3 amis en etaient les seuls rescapés..

Ils furent recueillis par des cannibals habitant l’ile..

Les cannibals leurs imposèrent "vous 3.. doit faire un test ou sinon mourir"

Le test etait d’aller cueillir des fruits dans la foret et les ramener. Chacun partit et revint avec des fruits differents!

Dominique cueillit 3 pommes. Le chef des cannibals lui dit ‘Mettre pommes dans ton Q... si toi pas arriver, toi mourir.." Dominique reussit à mettre la première puis la deuxième... sur la troisième pomme, il n’en pouvait plus! Il tomba raide de douleur et on le tua!

Kevin revint avec 10 cerises... On lui ordonna de faire la meme chose... Il y était presque, mais sur la dernière cerise, il commença à rire et perdit la vie a son tour.

Arrivé au paradis, Dominique s’exclama "Ta Kevin..to ti pres pou reussi sauve to la vie taa! Kifer tone riyer???"

Kevin dit "Mone trouve Laval p vini ek zanana dans so lamain!" 

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Ene fou encore p marse marsé avec ene la croix lor so zepaule. Li croise ene lotte fou ki dimane li: "Toi ki toi?"

Lotla dir: "Mo meme Jesus Christ!"

2eme fou: "Ah bon ki sanla ine dire toi sa?"

1er fou: "Bon Dieu en personne missié!"

2eme fou: "Taaa mentere, zamais mo fine dire toi sa, Fatra!!!!!" 

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Tizan ek laporte loto!

Ene zour ti ena trois malin: Big B, Gaston, ek Tizan. Zot ti p traverse ene desert dan loto. Arrive 3/4 la route, loto in al bez en panne. Big B desanne et li dir so 2 larmé "Pren ene zafer utile ki pou kapav saryé ek ki kapav sauve nu la vie parski nu pas tro loin ek nou destination."

Big B prend radiateur, Gaston pren coussin passager, ek Tizan prend laporte loto.

Gaston: "Big B kifer tone prend radiateur?"

Big B: "B si nu gagne soif nu boire delo dan radiateur! B toi kifer tone pren coussin?"

Gaston: "Si nu fatiguer, nu kapav assiz nu comfortablement sans brule nu lor sa disab chaud la!"

Gaston: "B twa kifer tone prend laporte toi Tizan?"

Tizan: "B si nu gagne tro chaud, mo baisse vide pou gagne l'air!!!"

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Conversation between two friends who have just migrated to Australia...

Zozefine: Alo my dear! What manner? Are you well?

Marzorie: Like this like that.

Zozefine: Where are you going on your thirty-one like that, hair in the wind? Did you sell your pig?

Marzorie: I tell you a secret. I am going frequenting. I told mama I am going magazines. 

Zozefine: Enough! since when do you have a pointer.

Marzorie: Since last week but rest quiet. We are joining in hide. You know how those long tongues like to make commentaries.

Zozefine: Extra that! Don't talk! Where does he rest?

Marzorie: He rests behind the bazaar after the round point in a flat with two chambers on the second stage. 

Zozefine: Where did you join him?

Marzorie: I joined him at a mauritian ball. He lifted me to dance a slow. He made sweet eyes at me and I made a colinos smile at him.

He traces very well. When he dances the Sega he breaks, breaks his kidneys and does small steps, small steps. He wore an elephant leg costume which has returned in the mode with varnished shoes. He invited me at his table and offered me fried bread with apple of love chutney and asked me if I wanted a little strong. We drank a health and then we went outside to pull a dam. Since then we have been seeing our comrade underneath, underneath.

Zozefine: How does he call?

Marzorie: He calls Zerard Beautiful heart.

Zozefine: A beautiful boy?

Marzorie: Yes, he resembles a little bit like Sacha Distel.

Zozefine: I can see he is tiring your head.

Marzorie: I husband like him!

Zozefine: Business is good, serious serious. Is marriage behind the door?

Marzorie: I am not pressed. I have to look well. Attention after marriage he pulls his long tail with me.

Zozefine: You have reason don't be pressed. You have to profit life and amuse yourself well before.

Marzorie: My taxi has arrived an i need to go shopping in melbourne , my car is in pane. I'm retarded, let me go. We'll join later.

Zozefine: Salam my sister, make compliments to your pointer for me.


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